Stories

Breaking generational cycles by stepping into the picture

January 1, 1970

Photography has played a large part in my life since childhood. My mother meticulously curated our family albums, ensuring every detail was captured within perfectly arranged photos and accompanying texts. I, in turn, found comfort in each image, delving into the emotions and cherished memories captured within.

Written by Antonia Stubbe-Pettersson

PR & Partnership Lead at Once Upon

During my middle school years, my mom went on to pursue her photography passion professionally. On days when my school was closed, I often found myself in the darkroom alongside her as she brought images and stories to life. While I initially sighed heavily when she pulled out her camera, I now realize the significance of those moments captured through her lens, and I am deeply grateful to her for persisting.

When I look through those albums today, I still feel that sense of warmth and stability. However, I notice that my mom, who continued to stand behind the lens, is rarely present in our family albums compared to her four children and husband. While her interest in capturing memories undoubtedly rubbed off on me, so too did her reluctance to be in front of the camera. It’s as if that behavior has been passed down.Today, as a parent to three wild and curious children, I document their every mood and milestone. Yet, among the thousands of images in my phone’s camera roll highlighting their growth and our adventures together as a family, the lack of images featuring myself is blatant. This realization weighs on me, especially as I reflect on the missed opportunities to preserve memories of my own journey throughout motherhood.

“While my mother's focus and love for photography undoubtedly rubbed off on me, so too did her reluctance to be in front of the camera.”

I’ve deleted photos of my pregnant belly where I could not see the beauty,

and all I saw were the bodily changes. I’ve opted out of pictures of my own proud milestones, my children’s birthdays, and everyday moments of magic. Insecurity has often kept me out of the frame.

But recently, something shifted within me. It may have to do with the wise voices of my growing kids or the deep-dive we’ve done at Once Upon on this subject. I've begun to realize the importance of breaking free from this generational pattern. While I may not be pleased with how I look in a photo at the moment, I know that in the future, I will only see the moment and the memories. That’s why I’ve made a conscious decision to embrace change.

“I want my kids to remember me not just as their mother, but as an active participant in our family story, fully present in every precious memory.”

This summer, I’ll sign the contract with Once Upon not just as a promise to embrace the beauty of my own story but as a commitment to my children. I want them to remember me not just as their mother but as an active participant in our family story, fully present in every precious memory.